Lately, I have been feeling a little insecure with my future. Often times I wonder what am I really good at? What is my one passion? What is it that I want to be? Or even, how good I want to be in say the next 10 to 15 years?
Currently, I can’t seem to think of a passion, the one thing that I want to pursue. OK, some people who know me might say, “Well you took journalism in college, aren’t you passionate about writing?” To answer that, I’d say, “Not really.”
I wasn’t born with ink in my blood. I wasn’t born with any talent at all, not that I know of. Why do I think so? Because up until now, no one has ever told me how wonderful of a writer I am, how talented of a painter, singer, designer or any other professions you know exist. I can’t really blame anyone though. They really don’t have any reason to give me such compliments because I have done zero brilliant accomplishment.
This afternoon, I watched Junior Master Chef Australia on Star World. You know what I immediately thought of? I thought, “Damn, when I was eight years old, the greatest thing I have ever done was being able to stand on my toes with my point shoes. Even then, I quit ballet and as much as I remember Plié, Pas de bourrée and Sissonne, I am as stiff as a French baguette now.”
The problem with me was that I tried so many different things but I left them because I was bored—from basketball, softball, martial arts, music, singing, to dancing. I guess the key challenge in my sort-of-pathetic-life right now is to find that one passion so I can be good at it and stick to it for the rest of my life.
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” –Nelson Mandela
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July 17, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Anonymous
I feel exactly the same way all the time. Like, what am I really good at, that at the same time, I really love? I feel the same way about writing as well. I write, and have written in published works, but it’s just something I do. No one has ever expressed true amazement at any written work that I’ve produced and I doubt my words have changed lives as the way Charles Dickens’ and Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s magnificent specimens of prose have.
We are what we are, and we do what we can with what we have. Continue to live life and our passions will seek us out sooner, if not later; while I’m sure we would all prefer sooner, that’s just not the way that life works.
July 17, 2011 at 11:14 pm
Anonymous
I suppose my rhetoric can be condensed in modern slang as simply: “I feel ya.”